I tell them, I seriously have no idea, because my discussions with Jason always end up in a "snore" at night. Hehe.
Ever since 3 years ago, my first ever biggest planning I had in my entire life was planning my own wedding, with the given budget that we have discussed earlier. It was no easy feat. Having to keep on comparing prices from all over town and tabulating it in a table. (Up to the point after that I could give my friends the whole table when they wanted to have their wedding). From hotel packages, make-up, bridal, photographers, gowns & bridal party suits (b'maids, flower girls, ring bearer), flowers (hall decor, bouquets for myself, b'maids, flower girls) to little details like door gifts, invitation cards, program booklet, ring pillow, girls headbands, I had to make-do with whatever my hands could do. :) It was tiring, not to mention stressful, especially on who to invite and so on... But above it all, we managed to pull through.. and we were so blessed! Ppl asked me, "Wow, who is your wedding planner?" I just told them casually, "You're looking at her now". That was when, I realised, I have a gift for all this little and small details. Jason even suggested me doing this part-time.
I learnt to let go. Bit by bit. Especially the plans that I have for my life, for our lives. Barely half a year we got married, (4 months plus), we had to uproot ourselves and shift down to Spore. And it's all because of a plan; to finish paying off our house loan in 3 years time. Doesn't sound that bad, huh?
But we had many changes in our lives. First, I had to adapt to married life. Yeah, you know, adapting yourself to stay with another person who may not have the same "habits" as you. So far, we have pretty much tolerated each other and accepted each other for the way we are. Second, was adapting to our new work environment. It's much a different set of ppl that you're dealing with. International. Whereas, in Msia, you're pretty much closed up to the locals. Third, is adapting to living here in a so-called foreign land. Not pretty much foreign, if you compare it to Malaysia, but we did have a tiny-bit of culture shock when we came here. Work-wise as well. (I bet MANY Msians will have their own set of complains abt working here as well). After being here for 2.5 yrs, I can say that we're on par, if not better than the locals here. (in a few aspects, like work, living adaption, etc).
We struggled to find a home-church, friends, some place to feel belonged. And God showed us to TCC, and ever since, we never regretted going to that church. The people there showed us great warmth and hospitablity. They simply showed us the "other" side of Sporeans and how not to generalise the locals here. :P
All through the 2 years plus, it has probably been one of the best times in my life,
1) as a married couple ; I loved having a companion, someone who's always there for me, where we can just pack and go, easy-going, hanging out together with friends, etc. Ppl asked if I/we had any regrets marrying young (if you consider 25 yrs old, young), I will say NO. We had lots of time to get to know each other, settling down with each other, before we're ready to commit further to build a family. There was no pressure from either side of our families to get kids, because they knew we are still young.. and if there is any reason why we actually want a kid now is because my biological clock is ticking! As well as, obeying the commands in the Bible, Go, be fruitful and MULTIPLY! :P
2) career-wise: I never knew the potential that I had in me, if I had not left my first job back in Melaka. So far, I have been a good worker, and it shows, in my bosses comments of me, my colleagues, as well as the customer that I'm serving. One thing that I learnt is, managing people can be an uphill task! Jason says I am a workaholic (just like my aunts on my dad's side, or rather, my own MUM!), thus, I am trying to slow things down now since I am in this condition now. I have learnt alot coming here, experiencing work with different kinds of ppl from different cultural background.
3) Spiritually: When I came here, was spiritually low. Until, I came to TCC. It got me stirred up to SERVE again! Though not as extensive as last time, I've learnt to discern what needs to be taken up, and what needs to be said "no". In terms of maturity, yeah, I probably "grown" up more since the group has more younger ones (physically & spiritually) around than back in Melaka where I was surrounded by mostly aunties and uncles. Hahaha. But to be really committed in serving the church, another question, another point of my prayers as where will God lead us to next...There is definitely a season of change..
4) Life: Alot that we learnt about life and living here. Being independant was a no problem for me as I was independant back home. But living in Malacca for all my life from birth right up first working job, kinda bored me, and that's why, brought us here down to Spore. I wanted to experience living out of home, working away from home and in a different environment altogether. I realised that a lot of ppl here complain for everything under the sky, even when everything is given to them so conveniently, and they take all these comfort for granted. They have never lived out of their homes, their comfort zones, they will never learn how to appreciate things, life, ppl. I realised that I am much more grateful for the things I have at home, even though it may not be so "atas", but at least, I knew I was happy. I too, am grateful that as a kid, I probably didn't have what the kids here have these days, I'm still thankful to HIM who had seen through all of my needs, my family needs. I can't be more thankful that at least, I still do respect and honour my parents, and I really appreciate them more each day as I am living away from them. It's only when you're in this situation, when things/familiarity/ppl are "taken" away from you, that you will appreciate, and be grateful.
When here, we can't depend on our parents, it thought us to be independant (though at times we're still not, still need to rely on our parents for certain stuffs back home), but we have to live it through ourselves. Like having a roof over our heads. When we had to first shift out in June this year, I was rather worried that we can't find a room on time perhaps because of the rental fees or none that is suitable. It was the first time I was worried for these kind of things, something that we would have taken for granted back home in Melaka. God provided. He knew. He just knew. And everything was in His perfect timing.
My initial plan was to have a baby this year. But it didn't happen, but after realising, Jason said it was a blessing in disguise, else it will be struggling for him to juggle between studies and the newborn. God's perfect timing. It couldn't have been better.
Now, our plans are to actually; Jason finds a switch in his job to finance early part of next year, me, quit my job after maternity leave and stay back in Melaka for awhile, till.. God knows when.. We're still searching and praying as it's not easy to settle down here in Spore (it means more expenses, buy a house, buy a car, etc), but it's easier to settle down in Malacca (house paid off, near to family, baby can be well taken care of, etc), but there are downsides for both places.. work in Mcca is difficult to find for Jason compared to here. Baby-sitting and nanny services are very expensive here, and no family members around to care for the baby.. all these, running through our heads..
So it's not as easy as you may think or asking us to make a decision FAST.. because it's not like choosing a course in a university.. it's your whole life. Where, what, when, how? It means much more than just a choice. It's a plan, that comes with a decision. And we can plan, we can desire, but is it in God's will and purpose for our lives?
We're very much impressed upon Abby's biz card.. at the back it writes:
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." - Proverbs 19:21.True, isn't it? So surrender your plans, your LIFE plans.. for they are all in HIS hands. :) Blessed weekend, all.
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